Stop right there! Don’t go mad at your kids yet again. Kids don’t like the yelling part of parenthood. So, dump that zombie behavior that kids repel. Anyways, it does very little to discourage bad behaviors, and it sucks at endorsing good behaviors. Truth be told, it’s a losing battle. Agreed, parenthood can be a thankless job. But, raise your words and not your voice.
There are other polite ways to discipline your children than beating them up. After all, the true color of perfect parenting does not lie in the child’s behavior but in the parent’s behavior. So, let’s learn some clever ways to maintain composure to avoid shouting at our children.
See the little devil in the eyes
How often do you find yourself yelling from a distance and being constantly ignored as if you didn’t exist at all? With frustration at its peak, you will be like, “I called you a dozen times, what the heck are you up to….blah-blah-blah.” Goes without saying, this is generally the blood boiling point for most parents out there. Listen, you were ignored primarily due to the distance. So, don’t take it personally. Hopefully, this will calm your nerves for the moment.
When you shout from a distance, the chances of your voice being dismissed by the kids are pretty high. Yes, your yelling would be on “shut down” mode for their ears simply because it’s thrown from an offensive distance. So, increasing the volume on each account will not be of great help over here.
If your kids do not respond to your first two calls, walk up to them to get their immediate attention. Then, make an eye to eye contact and speak firmly but gently. One eye-to-eye firm interaction is ten times better than far-off yelling. It’s a careful and a respectful approach as well.
Prepare and Disengage
You already know the things that can turn you off when you come back from work. The living room could be a mess, there would be spills in the kitchen, and the bedroom would look like a terror-attacked place. Prepare yourself in advance on how to react to these triggers. If you plan your reaction in advance, you will be able to react better. Give yourself some time to unwind, and you will see a world of difference in your response to the situation.
A simple trick over here would be to count till ten very slowly to disengage from the situation. Take some deep breath as well. Splash some cold water on your face. Try to get involved in some other activities. With a purposeful intent, do whatever it takes to resist the urgency to discipline your child right away.
When you focus on the rewards of your action, the urgency melts away. Believe it or not, this simple trick will stop all the drama, screaming, and other overreactions that generally escalate a situation.
Give them the Time
Let’s assume that you are running late and your boss throws more files at your tables without any prior notice. Wouldn’t you be angry? Kids at play mean kids at work. So, give them some time as well. Instead of instructing them to do this or that right away, tell them that you need them to do something in the next 10-15 minutes.
If you don’t, you will just be doing a lip service to scream-free parenting. Remember, they would be more receptive to instructions that come with some time leverage. It’s all about offering a deadline with your instructions, and not forcing “go-getter” instructions on your kids.
When was the last time you felt good after yelling at your kids? Perhaps, never ever! Yet, you could be following this sad cycle for years. Remember, yelling does not generate respect. On the other hand, it can conjure problematic behaviors due to fear. For every parent who has successfully quit shouting, there are at least 50 who might have tried and failed.
Now, this doesn’t imply that the unsuccessful ones are doomed forever. There’s always a tomorrow. So, stay calm and build a new connection with your kids. It’s never too late to change your attitude and embrace scream-free parenting.